AWA Grindhouse Wrestling 2.3 Report, April 5th 2014, The New Globe Theatre, Fortitude Valley
First things first, what is Grindhouse Wrestling? Basically just think Chikara, similar fun, wacky characters, but with a f##k ton of swearing.
AWA Grindhouse is a monthly live wrestling show in Fortitude Valley’s The New Globe Theatre. But it’s not just wrestling – between matches you (but mostly men I guess) can enjoy some burlesque, and during the intermission you (all of you) can head over to room next door and enjoy some live music.
This particular night’s event was my first experience of a live Grindhouse show. While not all of the wrestling great, some of it was really good and there were lots of weird and wacky characters, e.g. the match where the Bee battled the Fish was particularly enjoyable.
Most importantly, the show told a coherent, entertaining and engaging story with a beginning, middle and ending. A lot of times promotions forget that important part of a wrestling show. But most most importantly is that it was great fun (and cheap!) to watch live!
Now’s the part where I get super nerdy and recap the goings on of the evening.
The show started with AWA Commissioner Matty T explaining that the scheduled match between AJ Istria and Jesse Daniels was cancelled because of an unfortunate injury to Daniels. As a result, Astria didn’t have a match for the night.
Istria came out and said that though he didn’t have a match, he’d still be in the corner of Combat Wombat in his match against AWA champion ‘Jag’ Hartley Jackson. He also said that after he returns from Japan, he’s going to challenge Jackson, or whomever is the champion after this night.
Matty T, who is clearly a strong proponent of Jackson’s championship reign, wasn’t too happy to hear this, so he threatened to sabotage Istria’s trip to Japan if he came to the ring with CW. Istria reluctantly agreed to stay in the back during CW’s match.
Match 1: Australian Wolf and Queen Wolverine vs. Jon Jeremy and ‘Mystery Partner’
Before the match started, Jeremy announced that his former tag team partner had died or is dying (I couldn’t catch which) of aids, but not to worry because he’s got a new, surprise partner, Kelso Kahoniz. Jeremy’s mic work is pretty solid, and he can control the crowd really well during his match. He also has some neat trunks:
Not the most technical of matches with a few moments of miscommunication and some pretty shaky double team maneuvers, but still a fun opener. Jeremy and Kelso got the win when Kelso hit a flying headbutt onto Queen Wolverine off of Jeremy’s shoulders as Jeremy was perched on the top turnbuckle. Great double team finisher!
After the match, Aussie Wolf challenged Jon Jeremy and Kelso Kahoniz to a Loser Leaves Town match at the next Grindhouse event on May 2nd. And to make things even more interesting, Aussie Wolf decided to also put his mask on the line (even though Jeremy and Kelso had already accepted the challenge?). Does that mean if he loses he has to remove his mask and leave town? Not quite sure. Should be an interesting match nonetheless.
Match 2: RUFIO vs. Johnny “Drama” Lukas
Alright, before we get into this match, I’d just like to point out that the referee is a banana. A BANANA! He’s Banana Ref!
OK now that that’s out of the way, this was a really fun back and forth match. RUFIO tried (many times) hitting a Shining Wizard on Lukas but Lukas was one step ahead each time. In the end, RUFIO went for one Shining Wizard too many and was rolled up by Lukas for the win.
Both guys worked really well together and put on a good match, and showed some good post-match sportsmanship. My only complaint is that their characters weren’t clearly defined enough (for me anyway, but I usually need things spelled out to me so that’s not saying much). I thought RUFIO was the face when he came out due to his entrance and crowd reaction, and Lukas was the heel for the same reasons. But as soon as the match started, Lukas’ wrestling style was more like a face than RUFIO’s. After the match I finally realized that both guys were face wrestlers, which helped make sense of things.
At this point we had our first burlesque dancer of the evening. It was also at this point that I checked my emails and Twitter. Nothing against burlesque, I’m just a happily married wrestling fan.
Match 3: Spaceman Dacey vs. Joe Haze’s Gimp?
I’m sure Joe Haze’s Gimp has a name, damned if I know what it is though!
What Spaceman lacks in natural wrestling ability, he makes up for with hilarious entrance music and a pretty catchy name.
The crowd wasn’t really behind either guy in this match, which led to some interesting chants – “Punch him in the d##k!” would probably be my favourite. This crowd also wasn’t shy about dropping the F word every 2 seconds. I can see why this was an 18+ event, well that and the mostly naked dancers with boob tassels.
Spaceman defeated Gimp wrestler with an Attitude Adjustment, but delivered more like Robert Roode’s creatively named Roode Bomb.
Post match, Joe Haze cut a good promo about having no match for the night and no purpose after taking somebody’s mask. I did’t catch whose it belonged too. Whoever it is probably has a new one by now anyway so it’s no biggie.
With no match in which to let out all his aggression, Haze delivered a huge powerbomb on his Gimp, who landed pretty high on his neck/back, followed by a middle rope (what are you scared of heights?) double stomp. Poor Gimp, but that’s a gimp’s life I guess.
It’s at this point that the crowd migrated next door to watch some live music. Live music is loud and hurts my head so I chilled and checked emails again. I’m old. I DON”T CARE!
Match 4: Bee Boy vs. Koi Bombora
After the intermission it was like a new crowd had returned, a louder, smart assier, more energized crowd than earlier – all of which are good things.
It is also at this point that the guy dressed as a Bee battled the guy dressed as a Fish, and it was excellent!
This match had all the things I like in a good wrestling bout; good wrestling (of course), actually funny comedy, but not too much; HUGS! (seven of them, thanks to the crowd); and a good connection between the wrestlers and the crowd.
Speaking of the crowd, it was also during this match that the they became obsessed with the number “Seven!”. Ref counts two, crowd shouts “Seven!”. Wrestler goes for the old 10 punches in the corner, NOPE! Crowd wants “Seven!” To Bee Boy and Koi’s credit, they showed some veteran instincts and took the crowd’s chant and incorporated it excellently into their match.
The finish came when Koi hit Sliced Bread for the win. Just to put the icing on top of what already was already a delicious cake, after the match Koi and Bee Boy shared not one, but “Seven!” hugs!
On a side note, Koi high fived my hand back to the future on his way to the ring. It’s still red! Who knew fish could high five so well?
On another side note, Koi selling being hurt like a fish out of water is the best thing I’ve ever seen!
Main Event: Combat Wombat vs. The South Australian Serial Killer ‘Jag’ Hartley Jackson (c)
The stipulation for this match was if Wombat won, The Globe would offer cheap drink deals to everyone. Suffice it to say, the crowd was behind Wombat, who you can see here praparing for his bout:
Jackson’s command over the audience is super impressive. That and when he shouted “Someone call the f##king vet!” after punishing Combat Wombat were the best things about this match. Other than that, Combat Wombat’s entire offense consisted of flying asshole attacks ala Mojo Rawley. Jackson used a distraction by Sara Jay to roll up Wombat and get the win. That was probably the longest quick roll up I’ve ever seen.
After the match, Wombat was beaten down by Jackson and Sara Jay. Spaceman came out to make the save, only to hit Wombat with an Attitude Adjustment/Roode Bomb. Finally, AJ Istria, Johnny ‘Drama’ Lukas and Aussie Wolf came out to make the save, and challenge Jackson, Spaceman and Sara Jay to an impromptu 5-man/1-woman tag match, where if Istria’s team won, the cheap drinks offer would still stand. This was a really fun match to end the show with AJ Istria showing off some great wrestling ability. Istria hit an awesome spinning armbar ala Mistico on Jackson, quickly followed by La Magistral(?) pin for the win.
After the match, Istria led the crowd to the bar for cheap drinks. Great ending to a really fun show! Can’t wait for the next one on May 2nd! Hopefully I’ll see you there!
Match of the Night: Bee Boy vs. Koi Bombora
Best Crowd Chant: “Seven!”
Runner Up: “Punch him in the d##k!”
Best Wrestler Trash Talk: ‘Jag’ Hartley Jackson after punishing Combat Wombat: “Someone call a f##king vet!”
Best Entrance Music: Australian Wolf and Queen Wolverine’s theme from the 90s X-Men animated series.