AXS TV Doesn’t Know Anything about New Japan

Screen Shot 2015-01-13 at 5.12.41 pm

AXS TV knows nothing about New Japan Pro Wrestling. At least, that’s the impression I get from their first commercial promoting their new hourly New Japan show.

Good lord! Where do I even begin? Let’s start with the comic book SFX that accompany the moves from Tanahashi and Okada on-screen. Look guys, comics are tops, but when I watch New Japan, I don’t think comic books. I don’t believe New Japan is aiming for the comic book market, why is AXS?  New Japan presents itself as a real sports company. The “King of Sports” even.  Less Batman ’66 please.

What is with the colourful 1990s graphics. It looks like a Dolph Ziggler T-Shirt threw up on the screen.

Screen Shot 2015-01-13 at 5.13.30 pm

What else? Oh, Mr. Voiceover, are you aware of what you are voicing over? I feel like what I’m hearing and what I’m seeing on-screen are completely unrelated. STOP TALKING LIKE THAT! Who are you, Don Pardo? This isn’t SNL, buddy.

I try not to get hung up on the correct pronunciation of Japanese names and words. Japanese is a tough language for non-native speakers. I mean, they have three alphabets. But the intonation is also very different to English, much less rhythmic.  Having said that, Mr. Voiceover’s pronunciation is out of control!

Screen Shot 2015-01-13 at 5.14.44 pm

What the f**k is that cow doing there? You could at least use a lion, as that is actually a part of the New Japan logo.

Screen Shot 2015-01-13 at 5.25.58 pm

Four smiley face emojis? Four. That’s racist.

Despite the grossly misleading commercial, the Tanahashi/Okada match that AXS is airing is absolutely killer. Hopefully people weren’t too turned off by AXS’s abomination of a commercial and still watch the show. I heard the English commentary is good, at least.

 

Like this? Support Koala Mask on Patreon

Comment!