Michinoku Pro Ninja Turtles: These Aren’t The Turtles I Know (But I Love Them All The Same)

IQsMX

tumblr_inline_ngg9ut55L41qhf2de

It was only a week or so ago that I learned of the outbreak of Ninja Turtles stables in Mexico. That was a very pleasant discovery, but the problem is I don’t watch a whole lot of lucha from Mexico. I’ll catch an AAA or CMLL show now and again, but these turtles are working for promotions with websites unseen for decades. Now all of a sudden, I stumble across another Ninja Turtles stable. This time in Japan! A place much closer to my heart.

I was browsing the recent playlists uploaded by, let’s say Pretend Villain, on the website that isn’t called Nightly Stillness, when I came across a Michinoku Pro show from February 21, 2015. In still image of the video of the main event match, I noticed some green figures, that very closely resembled a certain group of turtles whom I spent most of my childhood adoring. Who am I kidding, I spent my childhood, teenagehood and adulthood loving the many incarnations of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (except for that latest movie. That can go eat a turtle @$%&). Intrigued, I clicked on video, and there they were. Three Ninja Turtles in a pro wrestling match against three Japanese pro wrestlers.

Of course I watched the match absolutely glued to the screen. I can barely remember anything that happened in the match. I was just completely googly-eyed over these amazing pro wrestling turtles. Check out the match here. I’m pretty sure it was a lot of fun.

Not having watched much Michinoku Pro before, I wanted to know everything there was about these turtles. How long have they been around? Where did they come from? Who are the wrestlers under the masks? A quick Google search came up with pretty much zilch, so I went a place where everyone has an answer for everything, Twitter.

Thanks to Twitter puropal @gloirealoracle, and the pro wrestling researcher’s greatest tool, CageMatch.net, I ascertained some very interesting details. Firstly, the Michinoku Pro Turtles are supposed to be evil alien invaders from space. That is probably my favourite sentence I have ever written.  These certainly aren’t the turtles I know. Then, @gloirealoracle gave me a link to an incredible, must-see 8-Man tag match from December 2014. I’ll talk about that in more detail shortly. Finally, I tracked down who the wrestlers are playing the turtles:

  •  Kameshi-ka(?) is Taro Nohashi from Michinoku Pro (Leonardo)
  • Kameshi #1 is Tsutomu Oosugi from BJW, and the team Speed of Sounds (Raphael. Maybe)
  • Kameshi #2 is Hercules Senga from BJW, and also the team  Speed of Sounds (Donatello).
  • Not in the February show, but in the 8-Man tag from December is Kamegoro, who is Shisaou of Michinoku Pro (Michelangelo. I think)

Now to that match from December. First of all, the show has the best name possible: Michinoku Pro Battle in Outer Space – Battle of The Gods And The Turtles, Korakuen Hall, December 12, 2014.

As mentioned, the match is an 8-Man Tag called the Michinoku Pro Eight Man Great Space War featuring Muno Taiyo (Brahman Kei, Brahman Shu & The Great Sasuke) & Ultraman Robin vs. The Turtles: Kamegoro, Kameshi, Kameshi 1 & Kameshi

Before the match even starts, there’s a good little video package to build it up, featuring a turtle getting its head ripped off.

IMG_2845

As for the match, how should I put this? It’s completely bat@#$% bonkers crazy insane! And a ton of fun! The entrances involve the Turtles dancing just like in the original movie. I only wish they could use the song from the final credits of the movie. Or at least Ninja Rap by Vanilla Ice. Like that wasn’t fun enough, The Great Sasuke came out in full astronaut suit, complete with a dead turtle spiked on a stick. With entrances like that, you know you’re in for something special.

I won’t go into Bonski mode (he knows) with an immense amount of details of the match. B  asically, I got the impression the Great Sasuke is a God, or godlike. As for the Turtles, Master Splinter would be ashamed. The Michinoku Pro Turtles are NOT heroes in a half shell. Instead, they’re massive ass#%$@s! In a half shell. Yes, these Turtles are full on heels! And they are wondrous! Not to be forgotten, The Brahman Brothers are excellent as always, Seeing Ultraman wrestle is also marvellous, but the highlight for me is the Ninja Turtles.

IMG_2839

You can check out the match here (Keep an eye out for the gigantic dolphin):

Keep an eye out for the Turtles in upcoming Michinoku Pro shows. Meanwhile, I think Shinsuke Nakamura could play one hell of a Shredder.

I couldn’t help myself. DOLPHIN!

IMG_2835

Support Koala Mask at Patreon. Every puro-dollar helps! 

Comment!