What happens when Danshoku Dino faces Kota Ibushi in a one-on-one match? We get some very creative penis based offensive manoeuvres (offensive in every sense of the word), and a whole lotta sloppy kisses. Surprisingly, we also get a really sweet, uplifting ending to a show.
The match was the main event of DDT Progress And Harmony Of Wrestling on August 17, 2013. Instead of doing a traditional play-by-play of the match, I thought we’d play a little game. The name of the game is “Who Did It?”. I’ll name the action or move, you decide who you think did it: Kota Ibushi or Danshoku Dino. Sounds like fun, right? Right?
Player One! Go!
- Stole a pair of shoes from a fan?
- Took a dick pick with a fan’s phone?
- Spit water into a female fan’s face?
- Ripped off a fan’s t-shirt and threw it away?
- Applied a mandible claw to the dick?
- Dry raped his opponent on the mat?
- Did a jumping dick attack in the corner?
- Tea-bagged his opponent with a variety of g-strings, thongs for you ‘mericans?
- Did a dragon screw, but with the penis instead his opponent’s leg?
- A Cock Bottom?
- Did a dick suplex?
- Did a lowblow followed by a Gedo clutch, emphasis on Gay(do)?
- Got hit with a forearm and fired back with a kiss to the mouth on multiple occasions?
- Did a piledriver with his opponent’s head trapped in his tights?
- Did a pedigree with his opponent’s head in his tights?
- Who did a powerslam followed by a middle rope moonsault?
- Who did a frankensteiner?
- Who hit a vicious rolling elbow?
- Landed a Phoenix Splash on his opponent’s face?
To check your answers, watch the match! And don’t forget to read the answer guide at the bottom of the page.
Guide to answers
- If you got 1-6 answers correct, you’re probably a normal person.
- If you got 7-13 answers correct, you should think hard about the choices you’ve made in your life.
- If you got 14-19 answers correct, you watch too much gay wrestling, and I want to be your friend.